Someone suffering from cancer shouldn't need to bring these ideas to their oncologist. That seems like a worthwhile goal.īut I will never understand the point of these commercials. The key piece of information conveyed by the Opdivo commercial that played over and over during the postseason is that compared to chemotherapy, it gives you a better chance to stay alive. Hopefully, knock on wood, you will never know what Opdivo is. "I have a witty preprogrammed response to that, and it will never get old." "No, Siri, set a reminder for tomorrow to f" You know it's going to work about as well as Siri. It all sounds dystopian, except we're not quite at the freaky levels of doom for voice command yet. Eventually they'll get rid of that pesky "voice" requirement, and you can just will the soylent green to your pod. It's a little device that listens to your waking moments and lets you spend money as you walk around the house. "Look, just buy some crap from Amazon, please." "Alexa, are there videos on the Internet of people in egg costumes having sex with each other on a pile of flour, and can you project those videos onto my wall right now?" "Cake is usually made from flour, eggs, sug" "Alexa, can you give me the ingredients for cake?" "Alexa, can you play the band Cake, on purpose? That seems like a normal request, here, in 2015." "Alexa, why can Goofy talk and Pluto can't if they're both dogs?" "NASA unveiled amazing new images of Pluto today, and " To prove this, here is a headless man with ADHD asking about whatever dumb shit floats in and out of his head. And in the future, you are expected to have a glowing robot cylinder woman in your kitchen to answer questions. Here are the commercials that won without honor. She can't begin to understand the concept of a phone carrier, but she knows the logo by sight. When I was watching Bayern Munich play last week, my 6-year-old daughter came into the room, saw what they were wearing, and asked why the team was called the T-Mobiles. I proudly proclaimed that I didn't know what that "One, two, Kalamazoo" commercial was for back in 2012, but did they win? Probably. At some point between the 2012 postseason and now, I switched to T-Mobile. Your brain discarded the shell and jabbed the nut meat into a crevice somewhere. Somewhere in the burrows of your subconscious, though, you know exactly how that song goes, and your buying preferences are adjusted accordingly. How does that "One, two, Kalamazoo" song even go? You don't know, and you might think that means you've won. These were the parasites chewing through your brain stem just three years ago, and you've mostly forgotten about them. Check out the worst commercials of the 2012 postseason. You might think that's a good thing, but hear me out. We do this every year, and the worst part is just how easy it is to forget them. It's time to look at the worst commercials of the 2015 MLB postseason. Oh, god, how there have been commercials. In between those 100 hours, there will have been commercials. By the time the offseason gets here, you might have watched over 100 hours of postseason baseball. There will be between four to seven more. There have been 31 games in the 2015 postseason, so far.
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